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用3年的时间感动父母!华裔男子娶非裔为妻!

异国恋要面对和克服的困难可说是相当多,尤其不同肤色对许多华裔长辈来说,种族、宗教、文化都会有些冲突,所以往往不容易接受。

近日,一名来自新加坡的华裔年轻男子 Clarence,就在面子书分享了他和非裔妻子的爱情故事,感动了近100,000名网友按赞!

原文翻译如下:

这里有任何人是因为异国恋而遭到父母反对和挑战的吗?

我想和大家分享我的个人经历。

我是一名拥有着新加坡和香港国籍的混血儿,我的未婚妻来自西非,我们最近结了婚。

众所皆知,和一名黑人或非洲女人交往,对华裔和亚洲人的文化来说总是不受欢迎的。所以当我和我现在的妻子开始交往时,我的父母是表示反对的,尤其是父亲。

照片来源:Facebook

因为我和父母的关系一直都很亲,所以我非常在意他们的想法。我父亲是一位伟大的父亲,我非常尊敬他。 他拥有令人难以置信的职业道德,为我们做出了很多牺牲,他总是把家庭放在第一位,他是我的好榜样,因为有他才有今天的我。 因此,当他说他无法接受我当时的女友时,我非常难过。

原因是:

  • 不同的文化;对婚姻不好;会遇到很多困难。
  • 当我回到亚洲时,会面临生意上的问题等等。
照片来源:Facebook

父亲跟我说:「Clarence,这是你的选择,所以你可以随心所欲,但不要指望我的祝福。 如果你要娶她,那我可能不会出席你的这场婚礼。」这些话听了以后确实不好受,但至少他没有坚决地说:「我绝对不会祝福。」或是「我绝对不会祝福。」等等的话。因此我认为还是有机会的。

一切照着我的计划进行,我开始三不五时地带她回家,让她见到我的父母,但其实这对她和我的父母(尤其是爸爸)都是很大的挑战。我当时的女友每次来到家里,我的父亲都会带着奇怪和不悦的脸色来跟她打招呼。我当时的女友明显地感觉自己不被欢迎,所以她难以忍受。

我和她因为这些事多次起争执, 特别是当我带她去我的家里是,我都会对她撒谎说她是受邀去吃饭的。

不过,随着时间的过去,我的家人渐渐地被她感动了, 她聪明、善良、非常关心、体贴又有礼貌。他们也发现,她经常把空闲时间都花在建立我的公司的事上,甚至当时她还在经济上帮助了我。我故意保持沉默,因为这件事有点令人尴尬,但他们最终发现是他们的儿子幸运了。

经过一次又一次的邀请和交谈,他们意识到我和她的感情是认真的,他们也开始对她敞开了心扉。

经过3年的交往以后,我们终于在家人的全力支持下结婚了,尤其是我的父亲。 婚礼当天他的喜悦是我从来没有看过的。敬茶的时候,当她说:「爸爸,Yum cha(喝茶)。」时,他露出了我见过最大的笑容,当我和母亲跳舞时,他甚至还演奏了萨克斯管。

虽然这一切都很困难,但100%的值得!因为她是我的唯一!

▼ 网友们看完这个故事以后,都表示非常感动!

▼ 甚至许多人都哭了!

▼ 有着相同经历的网友也出来说话,当然他也是 Happy ending啦~

▼ 同样正处于异国恋的网友们,表示正在苦恼中。

▼「只要父母看到儿女幸福,他们就满足了。」

▼ 有网友好奇:这两人的相遇故事!(应该也很浪漫吧?!)

▼ 对于好不容易修成正果的这对新人,网友们都纷纷送上祝福啦!

原文:

Anyone here had kickback/challenges with parents on interracial dating?

I thought I’d share my experience (with poor punctuation and grammar).

I’m a 1/2 Singaporean 1/2 HK-er who recently married my fiancé from Ghana, West Africa (I’ve attached some wedding pics)

As you can imagine, dating a black/African woman isn’t always welcomed with open arms in Chinese/Asian culture. And sure enough, when I started dating my then-gf, I had kick back from my parents— especially from my dad.

This wasn’t a situation where I could brush off my parent’s opinion as we are really close. My dad is a great father and I respect him a lot. He has incredible work ethic, sacrificed a lot to provide for us, and always put our family first— I attribute most of who I am today to the example he set. So it was extremely upsetting when he told me he didn’t approve of my wife (then-gf).

The reasons were:

  • Different culture; bad for marriage; will run into a lot of difficulties
  • If I go back to asia, will face challenges with business etc

He also told me: “Clarence, this is your choice so you can do whatever you want. But don’t expect my blessing. I may or may not show up at the wedding if you marry her”… and things like that. Ok- hurtful- but not too bad. At least he didn’t say “I will NOT show up; or I will NOT give my blessing.” I guess I had some wiggle room.

So as part of my plan, I started bringing her home to see my parents every now and then, which was extremely challenging for both my then-gf and parents (mostly dad). Dad would have this weird look of disapproval while still trying to be polite when greeting her and acknowledging her presence. At the same time, it was unbearable for then-gf as she could feel like she wasn’t welcomed.

Then-gf and I got into a lot of arguments because of me pushing her to come visit. Especially when I flat out lied to her saying she was personally invited to come to dinner when I brought her over— my bad but we are married now so I guess it worked.

THEN slowly but surely, my family warmed up to then-gf. She’s intelligent, kind, extremely caring & considerate, and polite. They learned about her spending most of her free time working on building my company (now our company, obviously), as well as her financially supporting me at times. I had purposely kept it silent as it was embarrassing— but they eventually found out that it was their son who lucked out. After enough invites and conversations, they realized that this is for real and they started opening up to her.

After three years of dating, we finally tied the knot with my family’s full support— especially my dad’s. I’ve personally never seen him happier than on my wedding day. He had the widest smile I’ve ever seen when then-gf said “Daddy, yum cha” during the tea ceremony, and he even played saxophone for our mother and son dance.

It was difficult but 100% worth— since she’s the one.

来源:Facebook