因为我和父母的关系一直都很亲，所以我非常在意他们的想法。我父亲是一位伟大的父亲，我非常尊敬他。 他拥有令人难以置信的职业道德，为我们做出了很多牺牲，他总是把家庭放在第一位，他是我的好榜样，因为有他才有今天的我。 因此，当他说他无法接受我当时的女友时，我非常难过。
经过3年的交往以后，我们终于在家人的全力支持下结婚了，尤其是我的父亲。 婚礼当天他的喜悦是我从来没有看过的。敬茶的时候，当她说：「爸爸，Yum cha（喝茶）。」时，他露出了我见过最大的笑容，当我和母亲跳舞时，他甚至还演奏了萨克斯管。
▼ 有着相同经历的网友也出来说话，当然他也是 Happy ending啦～
Anyone here had kickback/challenges with parents on interracial dating?
I thought I’d share my experience (with poor punctuation and grammar).
I’m a 1/2 Singaporean 1/2 HK-er who recently married my fiancé from Ghana, West Africa (I’ve attached some wedding pics)
As you can imagine, dating a black/African woman isn’t always welcomed with open arms in Chinese/Asian culture. And sure enough, when I started dating my then-gf, I had kick back from my parents— especially from my dad.
This wasn’t a situation where I could brush off my parent’s opinion as we are really close. My dad is a great father and I respect him a lot. He has incredible work ethic, sacrificed a lot to provide for us, and always put our family first— I attribute most of who I am today to the example he set. So it was extremely upsetting when he told me he didn’t approve of my wife (then-gf).
The reasons were:
- Different culture; bad for marriage; will run into a lot of difficulties
- If I go back to asia, will face challenges with business etc
He also told me: “Clarence, this is your choice so you can do whatever you want. But don’t expect my blessing. I may or may not show up at the wedding if you marry her”… and things like that. Ok- hurtful- but not too bad. At least he didn’t say “I will NOT show up; or I will NOT give my blessing.” I guess I had some wiggle room.
So as part of my plan, I started bringing her home to see my parents every now and then, which was extremely challenging for both my then-gf and parents (mostly dad). Dad would have this weird look of disapproval while still trying to be polite when greeting her and acknowledging her presence. At the same time, it was unbearable for then-gf as she could feel like she wasn’t welcomed.
Then-gf and I got into a lot of arguments because of me pushing her to come visit. Especially when I flat out lied to her saying she was personally invited to come to dinner when I brought her over— my bad but we are married now so I guess it worked.
THEN slowly but surely, my family warmed up to then-gf. She’s intelligent, kind, extremely caring & considerate, and polite. They learned about her spending most of her free time working on building my company (now our company, obviously), as well as her financially supporting me at times. I had purposely kept it silent as it was embarrassing— but they eventually found out that it was their son who lucked out. After enough invites and conversations, they realized that this is for real and they started opening up to her.
After three years of dating, we finally tied the knot with my family’s full support— especially my dad’s. I’ve personally never seen him happier than on my wedding day. He had the widest smile I’ve ever seen when then-gf said “Daddy, yum cha” during the tea ceremony, and he even played saxophone for our mother and son dance.
It was difficult but 100% worth— since she’s the one.